well.... I had to quit my job... the owner sold the hotel and the new boss didnt like me so instead of letting him fire me I quit. *shrug* Ill find another one. In the meantime Its my bday... Im 22 now.... Im old. Karlisle and I have figured stuff out. Apparently I was missing my pills... and nit picking at everything. Im fine now that Ive been takeing them again. Im babysitting for my sister right now... Jordan is soo cute... hes crawling now and getting into everything. he likes buttons. Anyways I need a smoke. Ttyl

grahhhh. karlisle has a great fucken way of pissing me off on my days off. Im starting to think its his way of punishing me for going back to work. Every day I have off he makes me feel like a tiny little nothing. Maybe he doesnt even know what hes doing but Ive tried to talk to him and it fucken hurts when he does it. Im even questioning if he wants to be with me or if this is his way to push me away so he doesnt have to do a breakup. Im writing this is here because im sick of holding it in and I have no close friends to talk to anymore. maybe its me just seeing eveything wrong... maybe its my fault...maybe its time I just stop.

I am sitting here screaming....
I am wanting what I cant have...