I was once told that good things happen to people that wait... all I ever do is wait.. and everytime I turn a corner something horrid is happening. On wednesday I am going to pic out the headstone for my mother... its almost been a year but I finally have the money for it... lately ... ive been nothing but a screwup. I dont know what to think anymore... I just hope I dont screw this up to. I miss my mom... I miss my dad... and I feel as if I didnt spend enough time with them. There are people close to me still here with me... and yet instead of spending time with them... Im just pushing them away because I have a thick skull... I wonder when I will learn.